Sunday, November 15, 2009

2 More LBS Down, YEA!!! :)

It's 4 days & counting now!!

Hey Y'all,

I just stepped off the ole scales & was very surprised to see that I have lost another 2 lbs since yesterday!!  I was hoping for a measly .5, so I am truly amazed.  I might just make my goal of making it to 210.0!!  Dare I hope for 208.6, which would put me at an even 20 lb loss for pre-surgery diet?  Well, if I make it just 1 more lb, I will be happy, but more is always better in this instance!!  Only time will tell.  :)

Yesterday, DH & I went to visit with my parents.  Neither of them are doing well (at all).  My Mom is in constant pain.  She has a Heart Condition & she should have had a Bypass yrs ago, but didn't because they didn't have Insurance.  She also has severe Back/Spinal problems & was supposed to have had Back Surgery yrs ago, but didn't because of the Insurance thing.  She also has Fibromyalgia, Diabetes, Kidney & Liver problems, etc, etc, etc.  Her Diabetes, I believe is getting out of hand, & she has severe Neuropathy due to the Diabetes. 

Her legs & feet hurt her so bad, she can't even stand to have shoes on anymore!  She told me yesterday that her right foot is starting to freeze on her, she can't move the right toes at all!!  My dad told me she hurts so bad, she rarely gets out of bed except to go to the bathroom.  Unless they have a visitor, then she gets up & puts on a good face trying to make you think she is doing ok.  But she can barely walk anymore, even with the walker that we gave her.  Back Surgery is out of the question now, the Surgeon said that her back is too far gone & he can't help her.  The Spine has deteriorated too much.  I would have taken my camera with me to take photos, but she would not have allowed me to take her picture, which is sad, because although she doesn't look good, it is what she looks like now, which should be preserved. 

My Dad had to undergo a Quadruple Heart Bypass about 15 yrs ago, which rendered him totally Handicapped & unable to work as he had fallen while having the Heart Attack & broke his Neck in the process, then had a couple of mini Strokes while in the Hospital.  Unfortunately, he has not been eating the proper diet he should have been eating afterwords, so his Heart is bad again.  Then a couple of yrs ago, he fell out of his car on New Years morning, breaking his Hips & one of his Legs in multiple places.  He had to undergo a very long surgery to place rods & pins into his Leg & Hip.

Anyway, he has been in constant pain ever since & it is only getting worse (he is now 76 yrs old).  Yesterday, he was telling us that he gets very tired if he exerts himself even a small amount (which is telling me his Heart is not functioning properly again (he got like this before his Heart Attacks yrs ago)).  Which is bad, because he is now having to do a lot of the work in their house since my mom is barely able to move anymore herself.  AND, they are raising their Great Grandson who is only 7 yrs old & has ADHD!

Why doesn't the child's Mother or Grandmother take care of him do you ask?  Good question.  Because they are both lazy, good for nothings that would rather sleep & take drugs than help my parents around the house like cooking & cleaning.  Yes, they do live with my parents as well (at least on & off, one of them is almost always there)!!! 

The sad thing is that my Nieces son Charlie, is all my Dad thinks about.  When you talk to him, he never talks about his other Grand Children, just Charlie (even in front of the other GK's).  He doesn't realize that he is hurting the feelings of the others, because he knows that when he dies, Charlie will either have to go live full time with his Mom/Grandmother in the most scary part of town, or he will be put in the system.  Which sad to say, I think will be the best, because maybe he would find some stability there with someone who is young enough to be able to really handle him & help him.

My Dad hints that he would like either my Brother or myself to take Charlie in when he dies, but we wouldn't even consider it unless we were able to adopt him, & the Mom & Grandmother not have anything to do with him & us.  Because, they would always come around with their boyfriends, etc.  Charlie's Dad is one scary dude (violent, he beat my Niece multiple times), he is one step away from Prison right now (he has already served time in Jail multiple times).  And we just don't want that element coming to our homes!!!!

Besides the fact that my Brother has become Disabled himself (long sad story), & can't keep up with Charlie.  Myself, I couldn't deal with him either.  I am Partially Disabled, mobility wise & any stress just sets off my pain levels through the roof.  I was lucky in that my Daughter was the most perfect child anyone could ask for.  Which is why I never had another child.  I knew that if I did, that child would be the total opposite, & I could not have dealt with it!!  LOL.  She never gave me one ounce of trouble, even as a teenager. 

Now, my Step-Son was another story!!  He was the opposite of my Daughter, so he was the child I was afraid to have.  LOL.  When my DH & I got together, Russ had just turned 5 & he was a lot like Charlie (energy wise) & had some other issues as well.  So we had about 3 yrs of trials & tribulations with him, but thank god, he finally settled down & it has been mostly smooth sailing ever since.  Now, I couldn't imagine our lives without him, but for a few yrs there, it was iffy.  But that was many yrs ago & I was much younger. 

I can't imagine having to cope with Charlie day in & day out, I would go stark raving mad.  It's hard to even visit for more than an hour or two, before my nerves start screaming to get away!!  So as much as we love Charlie & feel bad for what will become of him, we cannot take him in.  Nor will we support my Sister or my Niece.  They are both adults fully capable of earning a living, they will just have to go out & GET A JOB!!!

My parents do not read this blog, thank god, as it would kill them to know how everyone feels about my Sister & Niece.  But once my parents are gone, we will not support them, nor have anything to do with them.  We have been trying for yrs to get my parents to do "tough love" with them, & refuse to support them anymore, but they just can't.  My Sister is 44 yrs old (9 1/2 yrs younger than me) & my Niece is 27 yrs old.  So we will not support them, period!!  Anyway, sorry that I went off on a tangent today.  But sometimes it is nice to get things off your chest, even if it is just to vent on (paper) so to speak.

Hope everyone is having a great weekend, sorry for the downer today.

Aloha My Friends  :)


The Dash! said...

Its cool - no downer, we listen lol. But what a lot you are going through (well, those around you) Congrats on the 2lb loss.. see, you are getting there? Knew you could do it :) well done.

Debi said...

Thanks Cara, have fun with Mitch.

Gen said...

How amazing - almost 20 pounds! Talk about a head start!

So sorry about all the family problems. We all have them, some worse than others. I have a son with ADHD, and it is easier now, at 10 years old...but OMG it was so hard when he was younger. That is not something you have to deal with if you do not feel capable of it, and I think it is completely understandable. Hopefully the sister and niece will wake up one day soon.

Debi said...

Thanks Gen, this is why I don't know how they could allow the parents/grandparents to raise him without any help! When my parents are gone, they will either grow up & learn to stand on their own two feet & take care of Charlie, or he will go to live with the other grandparents, or to a foster home.

The one we all feel sorry for is Charlie. He is the one that will suffer. Did I mention that he idolizes my dad? He is old enough now (7) to realize that my dad is not doing well & will not be around long. He has recurring nightmares that my dad has died & he has to be awakened & soothed as he is sobbing uncontrollably. He says "when you die papa, I want to die too. I don't want to live if you are not alive". Isn't that heart breaking?