Sunday, February 5, 2012

Some Decisions I've Made About My Band.... :(

Our Daughter Christa sent this to me, and it just seems to fit PERFECTLY!!  LOL

Hey Ya'll,

This post has been a long time coming, and probably the hardest that I have had to write, at least about myself....I'm sure that those of you who have been following me from the beginning, won't be too surprised to hear this, but my Band and I have had some real issues through the 2 yrs, 2 mos, 2 wks and 3 days that I have had it!  I have not been happy about my issues, and a few weeks ago, Walt even went so far as to ask me if I wanted to remove the Band!

Well, it would possibly be something that I would consider (and if I am honest, I had thought about it), but I doubt that our Insurance would cover the Surgery to do it without a Medical need.  Besides, I believe that unless there is a Medical issue with the Band, most Doctors would rather just remove the fluid, bringing us to basically nothing rather than remove it!

However, since Walt asked me if I wanted to have the Band removed, I have been thinking long and hard about it.  Right now, I am doing myself no good with it.  I have done exactly what my Surgeon told me I would probably do, since I confided at my Surgery consult that I am a grazer, wherein he tried to convince me to have the RNY instead of the Band.  But because our Family Doctor begged me not to do the RNY, we changed our mind about it and chose the Band instead.

I do not eat because I am hungry, I eat just to eat, I can eat until I am in PAIN!!  Which is even worse....So of course I have found a way to eat around the Band....meaning that I have failed the Band, the Band has not failed me!  There are a lot more success stories out there with the Band, than stories like mine....

So after a lot of thought, and discussing it with Walt, I have put an e-mail in to the Laurie, the woman who does all of the Fills for my Surgeon, to advise her of my feelings and to get her input.  She was out of the Office today, but she will be back in on Monday, so I am hopeful to hear back from her sometime this week.  I wouldn't be surprised if she discusses this with my Surgeon first, to get his input as well.  Since I mentioned that I was looking to get a total unfill, unless there was some way that I could potentially be a candidate for a Revision Surgery that my Insurance would cover.

Assuming the answer is no (which I am), I have decided to ask for the total "unfill" for now.  I am hoping that if I give myself some time, I can get my Head back into the mindset necessary to continue and be successful the 2nd time around!!  But for right now, there is so much happening in my Family health wise, that I am totally stressing about, and when I am stressed, I want to eat more, not less!  But I am not looking to get the "unfill" so that I can start to pig out!!  I still hope that I can at least keep my portions under control....who knows it just might be the best thing that I can do for myself right now.

And trust me, just because I don't have a lot of restriction, I can, and still do get "Stuck" on occasion.  And I do still have issues with Acid Reflux if I eat too close to bedtime.  I mean even as close as 4-5 hrs sometimes, depending on what I ate.  I do take Prilosec OTC every night regardless, because of all the Medications that I take, and even with it, I still have the Reflux hopefully, once I lose the fluid in my Band, my Esophagus will relax, and I will stop having the Acid Reflux issues at least!

Any thoughts on any of this???  And trust me, you cannot make me feel any worse than I already do, I have made just about every mistake a Bandster can, and have totally done this to myself!!  No one helped me to hurt myself, but myself.  My only hope is that I learn from my mistakes, and if I do decide to start "refilling" my Band in the future, that I am totally successful at that time!

But for those of you that still want to continue following me, I will continue my Blog about my life and everything happening to me and my Family.  If you choose to stop Following me, I totally understand, since you began Following a Band Blog, not a "This is my life Blog"!!  LOL

I have a few things to say about Walt, my Parents and my Brothers conditions, but I will save them for the next post so that I don't overwhelm you!!  So....assuming you still want to read it, till next time....

Aloha My Friends :)


Lonicera said...

Debi - I'm dismayed that you're thinking of removing the band altogether, after all the heart searching to have it put in. I'm absolutely convinced that you'll regret such a drastic measure: you said yourself you're going through difficult emotional times right now, but they are not forever - your problems will sort themselves out one way or another, and after that - say a year's time - you'll regret that you have nothing to fall back on. Remove the whole fill if you must (though I would have thought that removing some of it would enable you to cope), but let the band sit there dormant till you're ready to work with it again. Perhaps you're the type of person for whom it only really works when every aspect of your life is in harmony... so wait for the harmony to return - as surely it will, with Walt's support.
I feel for you, I really do - and hope you'll come to a decision you feel at peace with.

Debi said...

Thank you Caroline, I too hate to have the Band taken out completely, unless I was able to have Revision Surgery. So I will probably just have the fluid removed, to allow my Stomach, and especially my Esophagus to relax. Then after awhile, I would consider starting the procedure all over by having fluid put back in. I am still waiting to get a response from Laurie at the Surgeons office to hear what they think....